The Un-Arranged Marriage


By Radhika Sekar

Sweeta was appalled when Anu invited her to what Sweeta called ‘the appraisal meeting.’ “He’s coming to tea on Sunday. Please say you’ll come,” she pleaded. “I need your moral support.”

“How could you?” wailed Sweeta. “And after all our discussions.”

“I know,” shrugged Anu. “But it’s hard to find eligible men. Its ages since either of us met anyone even remotely suitable. All the good men are either taken, or recently divorced and therefore not interested in another commitment. I don’t see the harm in getting a little help.”

This was true. Neither Sweeta nor Anu, both 28 years old, had met anyone they liked at University, where most young professionals find their life partners. Once they’d joined the workforce, she at a local high tech firm and Anu as an accountant, they hardly met any unattached young men. Not attractive ones anyway. Their mothers she knew were becoming anxious. Only yesterday her mother had remarked that most of her friends were already married. Some had even become mothers.

“But an arranged marriage?”

Sweeta and Anu had known each other since kindergarten. They had maintained their friendship through to high school and although their academic pursuits were different, had maintained their friendship to the present. Almost always the only Hindu’s in their classes, they had been questioned about arranged marriages so often, that they groaned when ever it was brought up. “I will never agree to it,” Sweeta had vowed in her teen years. “It’s demeaning. Being approved by a groom’s family, like a piece of merchandise. Its gross!”

Anu had agreed and vowed the same. They had sworn to remain single rather than submit to such indignity. Yet here she was, thought Sweeta, agreeing to it. Worse, she wanted her present.

Reluctantly and against her better judgement Sweeta agreed to be present. After all Anu was her best friend so she was obliged to lend support even if she disapproved. But she wished Anu would show less excitement. Over the next week all she could talk about was the ‘meeting’. “What shall I wear?” she asked excitedly. “My purple outfit or the pale blue one?” She even drew Sweeta’s apparel into the discussion suggesting that she wear her red outfit. “You look stunning in red.”

“He’s not coming to see me,” snapped Sweeta, a touch irritated.

“Oh but he may have a friend or cousin,” suggested Anu.

Sweeta shot her a disgusted scowl and made up her mind there and then to dress down. “At least wear Indian clothes,” her mother suggested. “We will all be in saris or salwars.” To Sweeta’s surprise her parents had been invited too. It was to be quite a party.

Sweeta repeated irritably that he was not coming to see her. What’s the matter with these women?

“But he may have a friend or cousin,” suggested her mother, which was the wrong thing to say for it made Sweeta only more determined to dress down in brown slacks and a casual green turtle top.

The prospective groom arrived punctually at four o’clock on Sunday. Anu’s father introduced him to those present. “My wife Manju, Anu’s sister Priya and these are the Sharma’s- Jeet and Lakshmi and their daughter Sweeta. Everyone meet Rohan.”

Her father, who much to Sweeta’s surprise had worn his second best suit, shook hands with Rohan and steered him to the sofa.

Priya was asked to summon Anu and while they waited, the fathers attempted small talk. An electronics engineer in Nortel, Rohan had grown up in Halifax where his parents still lived and had only recently been transferred to Ottawa. As he conversed with the father’s, Sweeta observed him, surreptitiously. He was of average height, athletic looking, wavy black hair and kind eyes. He’s cute, she thought. Gorgeous even. Under different circumstances, very acceptable. She admired the confident manner in which he held his own with the older men, even contradicting them when he did not agree with their point of view. Good, he’s not into sucking up.

Anu arrived at last, wearing her pale blue outfit that off set her dark skin and hair. Sweeta suddenly felt drab. Perhaps I should have worn something more attractive. She liked the way Rohan stood up when Anu entered the room and waited for her to sit before joining her on the settee. Not a chauvinist, like most East Indian men, she thought rather harshly.

Anu sat with her head bent as Rohan searched for something to say to her. There was an awkward silence.

To ease the situation Sweeta piped up “Do you like sports Rohan?” The room relaxed as Rohan responded to her question enthusiastically and Anu darted her a look of gratitude. He was, it turned out, an avid tennis player.

“How about you,” he asked addressing Sweeta, not Anu. But it was Anu who replied with a laugh, “She’s anti exercise. Her idea of exercise is walking from the parking lot to the mall.” They all laughed, but strangely Sweeta felt let down until Rohan interjected kindly: “She looks trim enough.”

Conversation flowed naturally from thereon and it could have been just an ordinary tea party. Anu’s mother served tea with samosas followed by sweet gulab jamuns- standard fare at such ‘meetings’. When Rohan finally rose to leave, Sweeta was surprised to find that she wanted him to stay. Anu saw him to the door and seemed to linger there a long time. When she finally returned to the room they all looked at her expectantly.

“Well?” they demanded.

“Well what?” asked Anu calmly.

“Don’t be coy”, snapped Sweeta impatiently. “What did you think?”

“Oh about Rohan? He’s quite nice I suppose.”

“You suppose?” Sweeta could not believe her friend’s composure. “What’s the matter with you? He’s gorgeous.” Her parents exchanged glances. Perhaps I’m being too enthusiastic, she thought.

“I don’t know,” replied Anu doubtfully. “Yes he is good looking but I’m not sure he’s my type. Perhaps Sweeta is right. Arranged marriages are not for us. How can you tell about a person in one meeting with a room full of people hanging on every word?”

“We’ll arrange another meeting,” suggested Anu’s Dad. “Just the two of you.’

“Oh I couldn’t do that. It would be too awkward. ”

“Take Sweeta with you,” suggested her Mum. “If it goes well she can leave you two together.”

Before Sweeta could object, Anu agreed enthusiastically. So it was decided that they would meet Rohan for dinner after work in a downtown restaurant. Someone contacted Rohan and he was agreeable and so it was arranged that they meet at Oggi’s – which was elegant yet not too romantic, for a first date of sorts.

Sweeta found she was looking forward to the dinner. Oggi’s is my favourite she told herself and decided to wear her navy dress suit. It made her look professional yet feminine. Nothing wrong in wanting to make a good impression on my best friends would be husband. After all he may have a friend or cousin!

When she got to the restaurant Rohan was already there, looking suave in a navy blue blazer. Just as they sat down Sweeta’s cell phone went off. It was Anu calling to say that something unexpected had come up at work that she wouldn’t make it.

“But you carry on,” she insisted. “There’s no point all of us missing dinner. And you can tell me all about him tomorrow.”

Rohan agreed with the suggestion that she should stay and have dinner with him. “My treat,” he said. “For being so supportive. You can tell me all about Anu.”

The talk however did not centre on Anu. Instead Sweeta found herself telling Rohan all about her own ambitions and aspirations. He was easy to talk to and a good listener. It was quite late when they finally rose to leave. “A pity Anu was not here,” she observed, overcome with sudden guilt for having not missed her friend at all. “She loves this place.”

Anu called Sweeta at work the next day to apologise for not being there. “Sorry for letting you down but I’m glad you stayed for dinner. How did it go? I want details. What’s he like?”

“Hold on,” laughed Sweeta. “I should be angry. You put me in an awkward situation.”

“But?”

“Well it went well and he made me feel very comfortable. So I’ll not be mad.”

“So? What did you talk about?”

We talked about you of course,” Sweeta lied guiltily. “You’re very lucky.”

“You seem to be quite taken with him,” Anu observed suspiciously. “Are you falling for him?”

“Of course not,” Sweeta replied almost too quickly. “Don’t be silly. I was only checking him out for you. You’re perfect for each other.”

“We’ll see,” was Anu’s non-committal comment.

Rohan had a dozen red roses delivered to Anu later that day with a card that said he’d missed her. Sweeta also received flowers for ‘being a good sport,’ but instead of being glad it made her strangely disappointed. Is that all he thinks of me. A good sport?

A week later Anu and Roshan met for lunch. Sweeta had not been invited to tag along this time and she couldn’t decide whether she was relieved or disappointed. Anu however was still vacillating. She just could not make up her mind about him. In despair her mother called Sweeta to come and talk some sense into her.

“I don’t understand you Anu,” cried Sweeta in exasperation. “Rohan’s a great guy. I don’t see why you hesitate.”

“It’s you I don’t understand,” retorted Anu. “You were so dead set against my meeting him and now you want me to accept him right away. The first guy my parents pull out of their hat! ”

“But he’s perfect for you.”

“You sound like my Mum.”

“That’s not fair. I had dinner with him remember. And had a chance to really get to know him. He is smart, intelligent, kind, great sense of humour….”

“Then why don’t you marry him?” interrupted Anu crossly. “You seem to have fallen for him. I’ve never heard you rave about someone like this before.”

Sweeta did not know what to say.

“He seems to like you too.” Went on Anu. “In fact I think he prefers you.”

Sweeta felt suddenly light-headed.

“What did you just say?” she whispered.

“He likes you,” repeated Anu.

“Did he say that?”

“Yes.”

“In so many words?”

“Yes in so many words.” Anu was observing Sweeta carefully. “Why?”

Again Sweeta did not know what to say. The dull feeling in her heart that she’d been feeling since the dinner was suddenly replaced by a lightness, an elation. All she could think of was that he liked her. Suddenly aware of Anu’s scrutiny she was wracked with guilt.

“I’m, I’m sorry,” she stammered. “I didn’t mean to…I mean, I .” She stopped, confused. Anu had begun to laugh. Is she hysterical? Thought Sweeta concerned.

Anus laughter became louder and stronger and the bed upon which they sat began to shake. “Stop it Anu. What’s the matter? Are you upset?” cried Sweeta in alarm.

“You, you, silly goose,” Anu wiped her eyes trying to compose herself. “You never suspected did you?

“Suspected what?”

“We set you up. Rohan’s my cousin and I knew he’d be perfect for you. But knowing how vehement you are about arranged marriages, we knew you’d never agree to meet him. So I agreed to be a decoy. And you fell for it.”

It all made sense now. “You never intended to come to dinner at Oggi’s ?” It was a statement rather than a question,

“No that was Rohan’s idea. To meet you alone.”

“He’s in on this too?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll meet his parents. They are coming to town next week.”

*

The prospective groom and his parents arrived punctually at 4 o’clock on Sunday for tea. Sweeta wore her red salwar outfit and looked stunning. She liked the way Rohan stood up when she entered the room and holding out his hand, steered her to the settee. He sat down next to her and whispered, “I was hoping you’d wear your brown slacks.” As she looked into his laughing face she felt grateful to everyone for arranging this marriage!